Friday, July 11, 2008

The Resignation of Private Pee-On /"Perpetual Pizza Girl"

Earlier today, in an surprise act, Private Pee-On gave her unexpected and abrupt resignation from the Über Elite Pool Committee (UEPC), the GOP of the MDC+ status country club to which she and her family are members. For the sake of anonymity, names have been changed to protect the guilty.

It is not yet confirmed, but all speculation points to the impulsive "swarm and slap down" tactic used by the Tee party, the controlling sect of UEPC, as the deciding factor in this unexpected and unforseen decision. Specific details of the execution of this tactic, are not yet known, but a reliable source has confirmed that the Queen Bee of the Tee Party demanded that Private Pee-On immediately assume the additional identity of Perpetual Pizza Girl. Reality, much like wrinkles, is non-existent to Queen Bee. When the Private politely drew attention to her concerns of not being able to give the meager free time she does have to UEPC, and upon the Private's further conveying her desire to be more in control of her personal decisions in the management of her own private time, Queen Bee demanded that she assume the responsibility of "Perpetual Pizza Girl" immediately.
Although it is a known fact that one can never climb the illusive social ladder without being stung by a Queen Bee or two, the Private, we can only assume, is highly allergic to bee stings. The Private responded to the impending doom with a polite chorus of truth ... ugly as it may be. It is said at that moment, the Private proffered her resignation ... GASP!!! ... it appears the Queen Bee has been stung!! However, a Queen will always be a Queen ... and like the true dictator that she is, she told the Private that her resignation would be accepted after she fulfilled the immediate duty of "Perpetual Pizza Girl" for today. The Queen Bee was last seen making a bee line for her golf-cart (heaven forbid she miss her scheduled court time for doubles). En route to the court, a curt email was dispensed to UEPC, informing all of the Private's resignation. No reason or detail was given.

In an effort to report a fair and unbiased story, both parties were consulted for comment. When reached, the Private expressed her concerns of the possible repercussions of stinging the Queen Bee.

The Queen Bee could not be reached for comment.

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